Massage Funnies

Once upon a time, there was a quiet little massage room which had the most interesting people pop in for treatments, people who said the darndest things…

Therapist: What is our goal today?

Client: I’d like to have the right side of my body removed.

Therapist: That would make you a leftist. Sure you want to do that in Reagan country?


Therapist: You seem a little tense.

Client: I’ve had a tough week at work.baddabing

Therapist: It is Tuesday…


Client: Thanks for coming over to my house. I have some dinner if you haven’t eaten yet.

Therapist: I have to warn you. If you feed me I come back…


Client: Do you believe in colonic irrigation for migraines?

Therapist: I think that depends on where your head is…


Client: What about coffee enemas?

Therapist: Depends, too, on whether they are iced or hot…


Therapist: Any idea why your neck hurts at work?

Client: Yes. She is in the office across from me and is not going anywhere soon.


Therapist: Have you tried any other treatments for your back pain?

Client: None that worked. That’s why I’m here.


Client: Whom do you go to for massages?

Therapist: I have very patient, somewhat deaf therapist friends whom I try not to wear out. And sometimes I play Russian Roulette by going undercover at a local spa or clinic.


Client: Has anyone ever told you that you are funny?

Therapist: Yes, and funny-looking, too!


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