So, here’s an interesting conundrum: we all know to keep our conversation with clients to a minimum so they can have the most relaxing session, and yet, reports from those on the table abound of overly talkative therapists. No one wants to be a “Chatty Kathy,” but it happens.

Years ago, before I even went to massage school, I had a pretty good massage therapist who happened to decide that she liked me. Over the course of four or five sessions, I ended up learning everything there was to know about her boyfriend, her living arrangements, the health condition she had experienced, and her personal opinion about many politicians. When I showed up the next time, she literally said, “oh, good! You’re my favorite client!” And she started talking at me just like in the previous sessions. I said nothing. I kept my end of the dialogue as best I could while trying to relax, but I made a mental note to make this my last appointment with this therapist.

Why does this happen?

Clients do sometimes ask us questions like: “Where are you from?” or “How long have you been practicing?” or “Where did you go to massage school?” Social norms dictate that the polite thing is to answer them. And hence, we are drawn into a dialogue, but it doesn’t need to get out of hand.

In order to know when to stop talking, try thinking of that dialogue as a dance. One person leads, and the other follows. The person with the lead shows interest and asks the questions. Always let the client be in the lead position. If they ask how long you have been practicing, you can answer politely that you’ve been practicing for two years—without going into the details of where and how and that one funny thing that happened that one time with that first coworker who drove you so crazy…

While in general conversation it’s polite to reciprocate with interest and questions of you own, it’s vital, with a client on the table, to take care to avoid taking the lead. If you find that you’ve been talking for several minutes, chances are you’re shifting into the “Chatty Kathy” mode, which can be a real risk. The average client is too polite to tell you to shut up. They might even acknowledge your comments. They’ll never tell you point-blank that you talked too much for their taste; they’ll simply opt to see another therapist.

If you’re lucky, the therapist will be one of your colleagues, but if you are in private practice, you’ll likely never see that client again.

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One of the best pieces of advice that I’ve heard many times over the years is that if you want to excel at something, you need to find someone who’s already succeeding at it, connect with them, and try to learn from them. In other words, you need to find a mentor—someone who can help you see what in your practice or technique you might not know, notice, or even think to look out for, in order to help you improve.

Sometimes therapists can be reluctant to give (or receive) feedback because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (or get their own hurt). But if you look at it in perspective, you’ll see there’s nobody better-qualified to give you honest, actionable feedback, tips, and new techniques than someone who is already busy with a thriving practice.

How do you find a mentor when you are a massage therapist? Well, contact the most successful massage therapist that you already know and offer to give them massage in exchange for feedback. If you don’t happen to know someone like that already, then you could shop around at local spas or massage clinics until you find someone fabulous. You could also comb through online reviews on sites like Yelp, as well as your local newspapers’ annual “best of” lists to see who has built a strong following.

Once you get together with your mentor, put away your ego, mercilessly invite their honest feedback, and really open yourself up to it. Don’t worry; we all have blind spots. Asking to see yourself through their eyes only helps you to see more. Plus, when you go ahead and put yourself on the line to receive that feedback from a true pro, it gives you the chance to elevate your own practice and take it to the next level.

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There are some really great therapists who are super-effective at resolving the most complicated muscle conditions, and yet, they have trouble making a living. They struggle to keep their private practice going, or they end up going to work for an employer—possibly one who doesn’t pay them very well. So, how come that happens when their technique is so good?

In my experience, most massage therapists are focused on developing, honing, and refining their massage technique—which is not a bad thing. But, by having such exclusive focus on that, they end up overlooking the fact that almost 50% of the client’s experience comes from factors beyond their actual touch and technique. So, it’s important to step way out and look at the bigger picture remembering that Remembering that your client’s experience starts before they even enter your practice,

If you are struggling or it’s just not as busy as you’d like, do an audit of all those other things that go beyond your massage:

•  Observe your practice’s outside experience
  • What’s nearby?
  • Is there graffiti?
  • Any smelly garbage?
  • Was it hard to find parking?
  • Is there a really loud noise next door?
  • Should you be looking for a different place to practice?

• What does your client see upon entry into your practice?
  • How welcoming is your lobby?
  • Is there dog hair all over the couch?
  • What’s the temperature like?
  • Do you need some curtains because the view out the window is unpleasant?
  • Are they greeted with a friendly welcome?

• In the Massage Room
  • Are you doing a thorough intake and discussing a massage plan?
  • Is the massage room clean?
  • How about your personal appearance?
  • Are there any unusual odors in the room?
  • Any odor issues from your body or breath?
  • What about your dialogue—are you communicating pleasantly and effectively?
  • Are you talking too much, or too little during the massage?
  • Have you been forgetting to let the client know at the end of a massage that you enjoyed working with them and would love to see them back and welcome any feedback?

There’s a myriad of things that could be working against you—or for you. How do you figure out what they are? Ask for feedback. Find a friend or long-time client and just ask them point-blank, “Is there anything that you think I could be doing better during our intake, during the massage, or afterward?” You may find a couple of things you could tweak that would begin to help you flourish.

It never hurts to look with fresh eyes.  You could even call in a Feng Shui expert. The fact is, when you focus on holding the intention of creating the most positive and welcoming environment, it pays.

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Telling clients that they should drink more water is almost so universal and ubiquitous that it feels like it shouldn’t even need to be said anymore, and yet it should—over and over again.

When we have sufficient water in our body this will help all the toxins that have been released during the massage to get comfortably flushed out rather than reabsorbed into the tissues.

Even though water is one of our most basic needs in life, a lot of clients are chronically dehydrated.   A client may walk in and you notice their lips are chapped and their skin is dry & flakey, or there are more or deeper wrinkles than normal.  Plus, you can feel it when they’re on the table, when you notice that their upper layers of fascia feel particularly tight or sticky.

Dehydration affects so much more than just their muscle soreness or stiffness. It can be the reason behind chronic headaches, irritability, or even poor posture. Should we remind our clients to hydrate? Absolutely. Dehydration in their bodies can limit the effectiveness of our work. So, keep bringing them water, and keep reminding them to drink it—even when they’re not in your massage room.

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Our field of massage lives between two worlds. Historically, or at least over the last hundred years, massage was supposedly something that affluent people, primarily of the female gender, would allow themselves as a way of destressing and ‘getting away from it all. But massage is also increasingly recommended by doctors in situations where there is muscle injury, perhaps after a car accident or if there’s been surgery. So, luxury or legitimate treatment: which is it?

Sometimes, because I live in the world of massage and have embraced it so fully, I forget what the general perception is. When I am reminded, I’m always surprised how little the medical applications of massage are understood generally. So, for that reason I’m going to share them here—not because you don’t know them, but just as a reminder to continue to educate your clients.

Massage is, in addition to anything else, directly impactful to the musculoskeletal tissues of the body which include the muscles, ligaments, tendons, as well as the fascia that surrounds the muscle groups.

• In the case of a micro-trauma, where part of the muscle, tendon, or ligament is torn, commonly called a sprain or a strain, the muscles surrounding the area might be very tense, compensating for the injured tissue. You could use some friction to help elongate the compensating muscles back into shape.
• If there is a knot, you may find that trigger point work is super-useful.
• Chronic adhesions that are tough and feel ropey benefit from cross-fiber friction techniques. While those aren’t gentle or relaxing, they are effective. If there’s anything that’ll get your muscle restored to full action, good old cross-fiber friction will.
• Sometimes we use heat and ice, or hydrotherapy, and sometimes we’ll do stretches, either active or passive, and all of that is part of the work we do when we’re applying massage as a medical technique.

If I could, I’d like to make a clone of myself and go visit every surgeon in the country and ask them: “Did you operate on this person? Did your work create some scar tissue? Do you know that scar tissue can possibly be preventing full range of motion? Given how well it can improve outcomes, why haven’t you recommended massage to all your post-operative patients?” I know it sounds crazy, but that’s what I’d do. Why? Because massage is one of the absolute best methods for removing scar tissue and allowing patients a full recovery.

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As a massage therapist, one of the most important considerations is to keep your client comfortable and relaxed. An integral part of that is the temperature of the room. In the Pacific Northwest, I would venture to say that the majority of temperature issues are not that your client is too warm, but rather that they’d like to be warmer. Being warm, of course, has the additional benefit of relaxing your client, which in turn helps to relax their muscles.

If your client expresses that they would like to be warmer, don’t take that as an affront. Everyone’s body temperature has a different thermostat. Here are some simple solutions to make sure your client is comfortable and the temperature is to their liking:

• Blankets: The easiest one is to keep some blankets on hand, ones you can place over your client as needed.
• Table warmer: Another good idea is to have a table warmer beneath the sheets that you can turn on for them.
• Grain packs: Pillows stuffed with rice, buckwheat, or another grain can be microwaved and applied to your client’s body give a soothing, warm heat.
• Space heater: In general, you want make sure that the actual air temperature in the room is at least at 70 degrees. A space heater can be perfect for that, especially in older or larger buildings where you can’t adjust the thermostat easily. Turn it on before your first client is there. Today there are many makes and models that work quietly and are energy efficient.

If your client is cold during the massage, simply turn to one of these options during the session for additional heat. I promise they’ll thank you later, and the reward will likely be a repeat customer and a referral.

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